Your Voice Is In Your Hands
Your voice—and the voices of everyone affected by FGC—belongs at the forefront of any conversation about FGC. But when it comes to difficult topics like FGC, it can be hard to know what you want to say.
We’re here to support you
As you explore this page, you may feel that it would be helpful to talk to someone about your questions and feelings. Our Case Manager and Counselors are here to do exactly that. Connect with us to learn more or request an appointment.
Questions You May Have
Just thinking about FGC can bring up big questions. In this section of the website, we talk about some of the questions and feelings that may come up for you, as well as how to begin to work through those questions.
Questions about Choice
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Choice is the act of making a decision when there are two or more options available to you.
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Most people who experience FGC do not choose the practice. If you have experienced FGC, someone else likely made the choice for you, and this may have happened when you were very young.
If you learn later in life that you went through FGC as a baby, or if you remember being cut, you may have strong feelings about the fact that someone else in your life chose to change your body without your consent.
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How do I feel that I am not the only person who got to make important choices about my body?
Do I feel any emotions about a choice someone else made for me, even if they had good intentions?
Would talking about these feelings be helpful for me?
Questions about Identity
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Your identity is all of the things that make you who you are. It is how you define yourself.
You might define yourself in terms of your relationships (being a mother, a daughter, a sister), your education, and your goals. You might define yourself by your passions - being an artist, a musician, a lover of history, etc. You might also value characteristics such as strength, independence, kindness or ambition.
The things that are important to who you are can be influenced by your family, your friends, and your culture. Your identity can also be influenced by your life experiences.
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FGC may or may not be a big part of who you are. Some people feel like FGC is what makes them a woman in their community and they feel closer to other women who have been through FGC. Other people don't really think about FGC on a daily basis. Either way is okay - there is no right or wrong way to feel about how FGC impacts you.
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What are all of the things that make you, you? What are the most important parts of your identity (being a sister? A mother or daughter? A student, athlete or volunteer? A friend?)
Is FGC an important part of my identity?
Why or why not?
Questions about Community
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A community is a group of people who share and connect over an important characteristic, such as religion, a certain value, a tradition, or a part of their identity (gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity).
Communities can be large or small, and people within a community may interact with each other in different ways.
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In most cases, FGC is a cultural practice. This means that the people around you—your parents, grandparents, aunties, teachers, and religious leaders—may have very strong opinions about FGC. It can be very difficult if you have different feelings about FGC than other people in your life.
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What communities am I a part of? How do the people in those communities feel about FGC?
How do I feel about FGC?
Do I feel differently from others in my family or community?
Why do I have the opinions that I have about FGC?
Does living in the United States shape how I feel about FGC?
Who are the people I would want to talk to about these feelings?
Finding Answers
Start with self-reflection
Before you talk to others about your concerns about FGC (or any topic), it can be helpful to think about your own feelings and answers to the questions above. If you don't have all the answers, that's okay, too! Understanding your thoughts and feelings is a process, and you may even feel differently at different times in your life.
When you’re ready, you can start by:
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Explore this website and other resources to learn more about FGC. It can be very helpful to understand the changes that may have been made to your body, why FGC is practiced, and how it might impact you.
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Start by thinking about how you feel. What do you believe and value in the world? How does this shape your opinion on FGC? If you have thought about this on your own, it can be easier to share what you think with other people and answer the questions they might ask you. You might want to write your thoughts down in a journal, or just find a quiet place to sit and think.
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It's okay to be sad, angry, confused, glad, proud and more! It's also okay to feel multiple emotions at the same time, even if these emotions are opposites of each other (for example, you can be angry about FGC and feel like FGC is part of being a woman at the same time).
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What does healing and happiness look like for you? Is addressing FGC a part of this process?
Start a Hard conversation
When you feel ready to start a conversation with someone important in your life, it can be overwhelming. These strategies can help!
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What do you hope to get out of your conversation? Do you want someone to apologize or explain their decision? Do you just want them to understand how you're feeling?
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If you have an idea of what you want to ask, it can help you stay on track if you start to feel emotional. (It's okay to feel emotional!)
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Talk about how you feel using first-person language (for example, "I feel..." or "I think..."). Other people are more likely to hear you when they aren't feeling defensive.
We don't want to tell other people what they should feel. Instead, we can share how we feel and ask them questions about their feelings and decisions.
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Why did our family members make the decisions that they made? Someone may make a decision that hurts us while they are trying to take care of us the best way they know how. Understanding why another person made a certain decision can help us heal.